The First Time
by hezzy76
Summary: So this is my take on Cath and Levi's first time. I just love them!


**A/N: So I had a debate with my friend about Fangirl. Did they or didn't they? I said yes, she said no So I decided to write my version of their first time. I struggled writing this out of fear I wouldn't get it right. Fangirl touched me in a way that no other book has and though I am in my 30's and never went to college, I relate to Cath in a way I have never related to a character like I do with Cath. **

**Thank you Rainbow Rowell for created a world that I could get lost in forever! **

**I do not own Fangirl the amazingly awkward Cath and the uber adorable Levi belong to Rainbow Rowell- I am just borrowing them for the moment!**

**Xoxo H **

_"I like your glasses" he said. "I like your Simon Snow T-Shirts. I like that you don't smile at everyone because then, when you smile at me…Cather." He kissed her mouth. "Look at me."_

_She did. _

_"I choose you over everyone."_

_Cath took a painful breath and reached up with one hand to touch his chin. "I love you," she said. "Levi."_

_Levi's face broke open just before he kissed her._

_He pulled away again a few seconds later…._

_"Say it again."_

Cath giggled and kissed his chin "I love you" she said in almost a whisper. Levi pulled her close to him, leaned over her with one hand to turn off the stove in hopes the omelet that was now burning in the pan wouldn't set off the smoke detectors.

Levi's lips found the sweet spot on Cath's neck and she tiled her head back. He said "I love you" between kisses until he found her mouth again. "More that you know Cather Avery" and her mouth was the one to find his first.

When they finally broke away from each other Cath looked at the messy pan on the stove "I guess I'll attempt to make you another?" She was surprised when Levi shook his head no "Later, I want to show you something first" he said taking her hand and kissing it before leading her out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his aerie as Cath liked to call it.

As they ascended the stairs, Cath's stomach started to flip with nerves "This is not going to be one of those I show you mine you show me yours kind of things, is it?" she laughed nervously, though a part of her thought she may like that. "Only if you want it to be" Levi and smiled that big wide grin that made Cath's legs tremble.

When they reached his room Levi looked at Cath with a half-smile on his face as he brushed his dark blond hair from his forehead. "Close your eyes" he said and kissed her cheek.

Cath rolled her eyes and squinted them shut. All she could hear was Levi ruffling through a drawer or a bag or something. When the noise stopped, she heard three footsteps that seemed to stop in from of her. She heard him take a breath as he took her hand. "You can open them now" he said in a quiet voice.

Cath shook her head "I don't want to". Levi chucked (if a guy can even do that she still hadn't figured that particular laugh that made Levi, well, Levi) "why not?"

"Honestly?" she breathed "I am scared". Levi laughed again "of what?". Cath, who was still squeezing her eyes shut shifted on her feet and brushed the palm of his hand with her thumb. Whenever she felt his smooth hand in hers it relaxed her even if it was just a tiny bit "you" she said softly.

"Cath, open your eyes, you have nothing to be afraid of" he said sincerely. Cath obliged. In her heart she knew she had nothing to be afraid of it when it came to Levi. He was kind and decent and he is the one who would slay the moon for her if he could.

When her eyes opened she saw the big smile that took up his entire face and she couldn't help but smile back "what?" she said shyly.

"Well, I was going to wait until our last day together to give this to you but I changed my mind when you told me you loved me" he smiled even wider which Cath never thought could be possible. "A sentiment you yourself have vocalized yourself on a few occasions" she said squeezing his hand.

Levi smiled thoughtfully and pulled his arm from behind his back and in his palm lay a small gray box. "what is that?" Cath said with the nerves taking over her voice.

"Well it's just to let you know that when I go back to Arnold my heart will be with you in Omaha" he said and Cath smiled at him as she gently lifted the lid off the box to reveal a silver heart necklace.

"Levi, it's beautiful!" she smiled as she lifted the delicate silver chain from the box and examined the open heart. Levi took the chain from her, kissed her cheek as he slipped behind her to put in on. When it fastened she turned around and looked into his eyes where all she saw was love and adoration and she was sure in that moment the look in her eyes matched his perfectly.

Levi put his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. He leaned his torso back a bit so that he can memorize the look on her face "I mean it Cath, wherever you go, you are taking my heart with you" he said in a soft voice as she leaned to kiss him. She allowed him to deepen the kiss without jumping or gasping. She tightened her arms around his neck and gripped the back of his head, allowing her fingers to get lost in his hair.

She kissed the corner of his mouth and worked her way to his chin. There was something she loved about kissing his chin and it drove them both crazy. As he leaned his head down to find her mouth again, she pushed him so that the back of his knees hit the love seat which caused his eyes to pop open and his face to be engulfed by that grin of his.

Levi squished into the corner of the loveseat and pulled Cath on top of him. Cath sat over him with her knees on either side of him and allowed him to kiss her neck and when he got to the spot right below her ear she couldn't help but let a sigh escape her throat which must have excited Levi because his mouth was on hers. Has his chin jutted back towards hers "cather.." he said softly into her mouth before she crushed her lips to his again.

There was something different in the way she felt while they were kissing. Cath usually struggled with whether or not she was ready to be that that girl that didn't stop. She truly never wanted to stop and she made up her mind that she wouldn't. She loved Levi in a way she never knew she could love another person. She trusted him completely which was something Cath was not used to.

Tonight she struggled but in a different way. She struggled with the same question that most young women struggle with when it comes to losing their virginity– what if I am bad at this? What if it doesn't come natural and I really don't what I am doing? Kissing and light touching were things that she was getting used to. Levi still hadn't seen her naked and that scared her. She wasn't voluptuous like Raegan nor did she own any eye catching lingerie.

With that thought she tensed up and Levi could feel it. "Cath you alright?" He said gently pushing back her shoulders so he could look at. She smiled at him "mmhmm" she said and she bent her head down so she could trace his jawline with kisses. Her hands found the buttons of his flannel shirt and her mouth found his again as she began to unbutton his shirt, revealing the thin white t-shirt that displayed the outlines on the muscles in his chest perfectly. He wiggled out of his flannel causing Cath to giggle as his lips found the spot under her jawline. She titled her head back as she felt his hands push her cardigan off of her shoulders. She tugged gently at the hem of his t-shirt and he took that as a cue to pull it off.

Cath pulled back and studied the muscles in his chest, shoulders and arms as she did the first time she saw him without a shirt. She tried to memorize the way the muscles in his chest curved into his breast plate. She started tracing the muscle line on his shoulder with her finger and then without thinking she bent her head down and started tracing it with her lips.

Levi tightened his grip on Cath's waist and she thought that maybe all of this was too much. She pulled back from his chest and rested her head on the top of his trying to ignore the fact that his hands had found the hem of her Carry On t- shirt.

She was ready. She wanted this, she wanted it to be him. She did not want to leave college, leave Levi for the summer without making sure it was him. Not that she thought they would break up or anything over the summer, she wanted the memory of his touch and his kisses to last the summer kind of like how she lived of their first kiss for months before she let him kiss her again. Levi had only said they would make it work but didn't say how and she wasn't sure if he meant long distance only or visiting on the weekends. The thought of not seeing him every day always made her sad and her stomach twist in a not. Like with everything else Levi, she always felt it in her stomach.

"Cath, are you ok?" he asked. Cath smiled down at him and nodded, leaned her head back down and started licking his ear lobe. She brushed her lips against his ear and said softly "I am ready Levi".

Levi pushed her off his lap and sat her next to him. He looked at her and she could see the corner of his mouth moving up but he wasn't smiling. His eyes were wide and as he brushed his hand through his tousled hair, he has a look of confusion on his face.

"Cath are you sure?" he said not quite sure what to make of the sudden change. She had barely let him touch her and now she was ready? "You know I took that off the table. I don't want you do anything you aren't comfortable with" he said stroking her arm.

"If I recall correctly you said it was off the table until further discussion" Cath said as she took his hand in hers "Are you open for discussion?" she asked turning away not sure if she wanted him to say yes or know but knowing that she wanted him. Even her thoughts weren't making any sense. What was she waiting for? Nothing.. No more waiting.

She could tell by the wrinkles in Levi's forehead and the way his too dark eyes brows shifted down that he was thinking. He shifted in the love seat, pushed off with both his hands and walked towards the window. "Why now?" he asked his back facing him "You know you don't have to do, I will wait for you Cath for as long as you need".

Cath could hear the sincerity in his voice though she could see his face. She sighed and got off the love seat and walked to leaving, his back still facing her. She threaded her fingers through the belt loops of his jeans and rested her cheek on his bare back. "I know I don't have to do anything Levi but I want to. I want it to be you" she said in such a quiet voice she wasn't sure he could hear her.

He twisted around to face her cause her to lose grip on his belt loops. When she saw his face she couldn't help but smile. He had a look on his face that she had never seen before- one of love mixed with caution and excitement. "I'll be gentle I promise" he whispered as his lips hovered over hers "I am counting on that" Cath whispered back as his lips gently met hers.

Levi was slow and calculated and more gentle than Cath could have imagined he would be, though Cath was a little uneasy about being on the bottom because it was hard for her to escape if she wanted to, she didn't want to. It was uncomfortable and awkward and special. She had her eyes open a lot because she wanted to take in everything- every touch, every whisper, and every kiss.

She had no idea what to expect her first time though Wren had explained in explicit detail (unfortunately) what her first time was like and it was nothing like this. This, Levi, was special. He was kind and sweet and they said I love you to each other multiple times and he would ask her ifs he was OK. He really cared for her and he showed her how much in a way she never knew was possible. She never expected to feel the way she did after- she was happy, content and she was in love.

When they were done, Cath was laying across Levi's chest and he was rubbing her back. They didn't say much though they both were smiling wide, Levi's grandmother's quilt covering them. She was hoping that it would always be like this that it would always feel like they were the only two people on this earth, up in the aerie with not a care in the world except for each other.

She was still worried about not seeing Levi everyday when school was over in just a few short days but she made a promise to herself that they would spend as much time together as possible. She knew he wouldn't object to that.

Although this moment could have been the mark of many ends- the end of the school year, the end of her innocence. Cath smiled for she knew when it came to Levi, this was only their beginning.

She tilted her head towards him and he kissed her "I am in love with you Cather Avery" he smiled "I am in love with you too Levi" she said. Levi kissed her again and then pulled back, his too big smile contagious "say it again".


End file.
